So after riding the Money Train for 2 hours, we were dropped into the middle of an absolute cluster…thing. The city was jumping, to say the least, and by the time this day would end, it would feel like it jumped right on my face for three straight days.
We started out determined to beeline directly for our ticket gate. The problem was, where is that, exactly? Is it over by Huge Uncontrollable Mob A or Huge Uncontrollable Mob F? So, we started walking…
I’d like to say I knew where the hell we ended up walking, but you see, the Flaming Pain in my legs pretty much rendered my sense of direction useless. Chris B. suggested we mark our steps on the map, much like Billy in “Family Circus.” I quickly realized we did not have enough map for this idea. I also realized I hate “Family Circus.”
We started up one street, then down another, then over another, then back up to the first. It was ridiculous: vendors hawking their merchandise, out-of-towners bumping into each other, and us, standing in the middle of an intersection, futilely tracing our big man fingers along a 1/2” section of a map. As you may or may not know, Byrne and I had silver tickets to the inauguration aka an all expense-paid trip to Absolute Chaos and back.
It was like a damn disaster movie. We had to walk through an underpass with thousands of other people, sirens blaring everywhere, people yelling. The only thing that would have completed the effect is the sound of the Army fighting a monster above us. When we eventually did find the line for the silver ticket gate, we had to walk six blocks before we even remotely began to see the end of it. The police were spending 5 minutes a person screening everybody for weapons, and 5 minutes times 7,898 people = we’re getting in next Wednesday. At that point, it was do or die. We were going to get into the inauguration if it or the police killed us. We pushed through mob after mob after mob, and eventually came to a screeching halt just outside the mall. At this point, we started to inch closer and closer, and after 25 minutes or so, we got the best possible viewpoint of the festivities…more on that later.
Quotes while walking:
Chris B: “You know what? Let’s just find a bar somewhere and watch it.”
Chris G: “My feet hurt.”
We started out determined to beeline directly for our ticket gate. The problem was, where is that, exactly? Is it over by Huge Uncontrollable Mob A or Huge Uncontrollable Mob F? So, we started walking…
I’d like to say I knew where the hell we ended up walking, but you see, the Flaming Pain in my legs pretty much rendered my sense of direction useless. Chris B. suggested we mark our steps on the map, much like Billy in “Family Circus.” I quickly realized we did not have enough map for this idea. I also realized I hate “Family Circus.”
We started up one street, then down another, then over another, then back up to the first. It was ridiculous: vendors hawking their merchandise, out-of-towners bumping into each other, and us, standing in the middle of an intersection, futilely tracing our big man fingers along a 1/2” section of a map. As you may or may not know, Byrne and I had silver tickets to the inauguration aka an all expense-paid trip to Absolute Chaos and back.
It was like a damn disaster movie. We had to walk through an underpass with thousands of other people, sirens blaring everywhere, people yelling. The only thing that would have completed the effect is the sound of the Army fighting a monster above us. When we eventually did find the line for the silver ticket gate, we had to walk six blocks before we even remotely began to see the end of it. The police were spending 5 minutes a person screening everybody for weapons, and 5 minutes times 7,898 people = we’re getting in next Wednesday. At that point, it was do or die. We were going to get into the inauguration if it or the police killed us. We pushed through mob after mob after mob, and eventually came to a screeching halt just outside the mall. At this point, we started to inch closer and closer, and after 25 minutes or so, we got the best possible viewpoint of the festivities…more on that later.
Quotes while walking:
Chris B: “You know what? Let’s just find a bar somewhere and watch it.”
Chris G: “My feet hurt.”
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